Being Poor

I’m absolutely terrified to post this. I’m praying that posting this won’t cause irrevocable harm to my marriage, harm my relationship with my kids, and/or lose my beloved readers but I have held this in for some time now. If I don’t get it out I’m afraid it me eat me hollow. Being poor is something I’ve tried to hide but it’s time to come out of the closet. Someone recently said something to me that really upset me. I won’t get into the exact words said but the fact that this person was so heartless and incredibly mistaken about me and my life was both depressing and infuriating. This blog has apparently led her to believe that Mr. C and I enjoy a high income lifestyle. But nothing could be further from the truth. But my dear friend (a sister by love) convinced me that sharing our story might help others. So here I go.

Being poor isn't a choice anyone makes

Being Poor

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Author: Elizabeth

I'm a wife, mom, and grandma (known as Bam) who loves cooking, baking, gardening, and all things that go into making a cozy coop for my brood. I have a disability so you may pick up tips on how to do things when some things just don't work right!

33 thoughts on “Being Poor”

  1. I’m so sorry. I’m glad you spoke up about it. It does help to vent. I like your site and think you should keep it. I followed a blog named whitecollarnirvana which I can’t find anymore. But he had a great idea for a new company. It would have benefited people like your husband. Good luck.

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    1. Please don’t be sorry. Cancer and spinal cord injuries can happen to anyone and, thank God, Mr. C and are stuck together through all that and everything we’re going through now. I wish he were still around!

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  2. Elizabeth, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or scared of about publishing this post. You are doing what you need to in order to survive, and there’s nothing shameful about that.

    I grew up an only child to a single mother, on social assistance. There was rarely anything ‘extra’, and that was just normal. Now, even with a good paying job and a husband in the construction industry making good wages, we still find ourselves with more month left at the end of the money. The cost of living keeps rising, and wages seem to stay stagnant for the most part. And yes, illness is expensive.

    I haven’t been personally affected (yet), but just recently a young girl I know who’s just a year younger than my daughter was diagnosed with Wegner’s. She’s still in the hospital in critical condition, and they’re being told that ongoing treatment after she’s released will be 10,000 on a weekly basis. I lost my breath. To have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars to stay alive… how … I don’t even know what to say to that.

    Bless your son for helping you, and bless you for coming out of the poverty closet. That closet is a lot fuller than one would think! (I recently started a non-profit for the homeless and less fortunate people of Ontario, and doing a lot of research… check it out on Facebook!! It’s called H.H.U.G.S (Helping Hands Unite & Give Support) @hhugsteam

    I wish I could help you. ❤ Hang in there, and keep your chin up, both you and Mr. C! Life is rich with love even when our wallets are empty! xoxoxox

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  3. When we (me, my sister & brother) were growing up my dad used to say we were so poor we spelled it with 4 O’s (poooor) We used to laugh at that, truth was, we were, but as children we never felt like we were. Your grandchildren have no idea that you are poor, they only know that you love them and that, to them, is rich!! ❤

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    1. They are fantastic kids. One of the 8 year old girls said, “We don’t get stuff from you for Christmas but you let us visit you every summer.” She actually believes that their week long visit is for the benefit and not ours!

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  4. It really shouldn’t be anyones business, honestly. Who cares if you *did* have money. Its yours to spend. People shouldn’t share their opinions about others finances when they don’t know people’s situations. This was a beautiful and abundantly honest post and your are a courageous and smart woman to be doing so much in your financial situation. 💛

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    1. It’s been challenging mostly because I was always a well-off person. My daddy made fantastic money and my parents were insanely generous with everyone. Even as an adult I always had more than enough. It wasn’t until my spinal cord injury and sudden loss of my income that I had to start learn how to adjust my thinking. Then, when Mr. C got cancer and we had no medical insurance it was a real awakening. But I’ve enjoyed learning how to do things I can to get by. You throw me some basic ingredients and I’ll make dinner and leftovers from them! lol

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  5. I am so glad that you wrote this piece. No one actually writes about the reality of being poor. I grew up poor and I almost never talk about it. I am slightly better off now but still find it hard to let others know my true financial status. It is even harder because my friends and colleagues are way richer and I try to blend in without wanting them to feel sorry for me. It is stupid but pride is stupid too! I admire your courage in talking about it and in dealing with hard stuff the way you did. You are in my prayers and I wish you better times ahead. I comfort my mother when she is down by asking her to choose between ‘being poor and loved’ or ‘rich and miserable’. We have our burdens but we at least have shoulders willing to share!

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    1. Thank you so much. I very nearly trashed it because too many people do tend to look down on those who aren’t at least comfortable in their finances. But then I thought about the people like me, afraid to “out” themselves and not knowing how to navigate the world of being poor. So I pulled up my big girl panties and jumped. I don’t intend to make our financial situation the center of my blog but, as I find things that can help, I’m going to share. Heck…even some recipes may save someone from feeling lost.

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    1. I wrote this hoping that others going through financial struggles would know they’re not alone. So many people are afraid (because of the reaction of friends and even family) to talk about how hard it it when you have no money.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know what you mean. We quit seeing a lot of friends because we simply can’t afford to go out to dinner (which they do all the time). We can’t afford the gas to take the dogs to their weekly play dates so we stopped that, too. It’s a lonely, isolated way to live when you’re broke. But at least we have people here to talk with and get to know. It’s not the same as face-to-face time with friends but it’s a blessing!

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